New George Michael Prison Jokes

I notice that many people are coming to this blog, looking for new George Michael jokes, or new George Michael prison jokes. I don’t have any for you, I’m afraid (Update: actually, I do – please see the updated section below, and the comments – thanks to everyone that’s contributing).  I can offer only a game of, “Guess The Headlines” in tomorrow’s papers – there’s lots of fodder in his back-catalog. For starters, there’s:

  • George Go-Going To Jail
  • George Loses His Freedom
  • Prison Rap

Also there’s got to be something to do with him releasing a companion record to his hit Outside, called Inside.  Or, how about, do you think George wanted his Freedom, or was he Praying For Time?

Anyway, I’m sure you – and the papers – can do better than the above. I look forward to seeing what they, and you, come up with…

Update:

My favourite contributed jokes so far are:

George Michael has been forced to give hands jobs to his fellow in-mates before having to make hot chocolate for them. He is currently working on a new single about his time inside called – Wank Me Off Before Your Cocoa

and

George Michael already made friends with his skinhead cellmate. They’re going to release a song called – Hairless Fister

Thanks to Kelly and Jay for contributing them!

20 thoughts on “New George Michael Prison Jokes

  1. So they’ve sent George Michael to prison. Isn’t that like sentencing Vanessa Feltz to 8 weeks in a chocolate factory?

  2. He has already made friends with his skinhead cellmate, they are going to release a song called “Hairless Fister”

  3. George michael starts…

    (Ed. – Joke deleted on the grounds that it lacked imagination and was poorly worded)

  4. Pingback: Top Posts — WordPress.com

  5. What has George Michael got in common with the Chilean miners?
    Both will be free after 8 weeks of heavy drilling.

  6. After spending the first night in prison…

    (Ed. – Joke deleted on the grounds of it lacking any sense of imagination)

  7. An obvious attempt at gaining more visits from ‘George Michael Jokes’ searches in Google, hats off to you well done, you fooled me!

  8. they asked his new cell mate…

    (Ed. – Joke deleted on grounds it’s neither funny nor anything to do with George)

  9. george michael has been forced to give hands jobs to his fellow in-mates before having to make hot chocolate for them. He is currently working on a new single about his time inside called wank me off before your cocoa

  10. george has…

    (Ed. – Joke deleted on the grounds it lacked any kind of punchline. Honestly – people need to stop with the attempts at making careless wispa chocolate bar jokes. They’re not topical, and worse than that, they’re not funny.

  11. News just in…

    (Ed. – Joke deleted due to it being a generic joke, and nothing to do with George)

  12. George Michael…

    (Ed. – Joke deleted due to it being a very old generic joke, and nothing to do with George)

  13. George Michael has…

    (Ed. – Joke deleted. Yet another dull-as-fuck unfunny Cadbury Wispa joke. Fucking hell people…)

  14. Why won’t…

    (Ed. – Joke deleted because it wasn’t a joke. Just a dumb, homophobic comment from a nobody)

  15. Empathy is all over this. Any nasty or really unfunny jokes/comments are deleted. The test I apply to keeping a joke here is this. If George asked someone, “Go on – tell me the jokes that are doing the rounds about this,” they’d feel able to tell him without being worried that George would be really offended.

    I’m not saying he would laugh, by the way. These jokes are a bit too weak to actually get a laugh from anyone, IMO.

  16. @Remarkable

    I very much doubt that… When you are in jail and you have so much you need to work out for yourself and try to take stock of your life etc, I very much doubt you have time for jokes.

    I ‘m all for seeing the humor in life… it’s just that this kind of stuff is… well, as you said, not even funny. And if you were in his place, I don’t think you ‘d be particularly excited to know that on some blog that your fans visit, there is an entry asking people to post jokes.

  17. @Faylinn: Actually, rough humour is very much part of the coping mechanism of prison life, and time is the one thing that prisoners are not usually short of.

    There’s little argument however, that actual funny George Michael jokes are rarer than women in the bushes on Hampstead Heath. In fact, I’ve seen more cars parked inside Snappy Snaps. I think its significant that I haven’t heard one ‘joke’ that has to do with drugs, nor getting wasted, nor his notoriously poor driving. Ok, ‘Freedom’ references his being in jail, but usually they are all innuendo about violent gay sex. Hmmm…

    GM seems fairly strong, and stars are generally interested in what people are saying about them, so I think he probably would (eventually) look up some of the GM jokes himself. He’ll be sadly disappointed, just like me.

    A couple of weak song title puns. Is that it?

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