Well, I was right. George Michael has signed up to duet with Joe on the X-Factor Final.
Now, we all know that George “doesn’t give a shit” what anyone thinks about his drug taking. However, a source close to the X-Factor has been quoted as saying, “George jumped at the chance to go on the show. He is a huge fan and was dead chuffed with the Wham and George Michael week on the show.” If that’s true, the drugs have clearly destroyed George’s brain to the point that he is turning into a vegetable. Dead chuffed? Fuck me sideways. Wham!/George Michael week was the worst week of the entire series by a country mile. It made George’s songs seem dull and pedestrian, and half of the songs that the contestants sang weren’t even George Michael songs because the judges are so fucking ignorant they don’t even know a cover version when they hear one.
Oh, and you know I said George would be ridiculed for going on X-Factor? Well, it’s already started. Today’s Mirror newspaper says,
“We feel let down by the line-up (for the final)… are they really relevant to the music-buying public of today?… George’s career peaked back in the 1780s (not a typo)”
And the first comment approved by the newspaper says,
In the final we have a bloke from the 70s who likes to get caught in the loos… BORED.CO.UK… give me SOMETHING BUT PLEASE DONT TRY AND TAKE ME FOR AN IDIOT AND GIVE ME THIS PILE OF C.R.A.P.
What George Michael and Andy Stephens have apparently completely failed to understand is that the millions of people that like the typical music coming out of X-Factor/Britains Got Talent type TV shows are either: very young (they don’t know any better, because this is all they’ve been fed); mentally retarded; or the dregs of society. Think about it: how many people that would buy a Susan Boyle or a Joe record would buy a George Michael record? Very few, I’d suggest. X-Factor-music fans believe that acts like Susan Boyle and Stacey are more relevant to modern music than acts like George Michael. They actually believe that. Of course, there are millions of others that watch X-Factor to take the piss out the judges and the contestants, and watch drug-addled established artists like Robbie and Whitney completely fuck up their performances – but those people think the show’s a joke.
Anyway, the final lineup of stars is said to be: Robbie Williams (duetting with Olly); Michael Bublé (duetting with Stacey); and George (duetting with Joe). Paul McCartney will be on the show, singing alone (unless he leads a surprise group performance of Hey Jude – we can only hope).
Fucking hell. It’s going to be truly, truly appalling car crash freakshow TV. Unmissable (expect massive ratings). But absolutely fucking awful, and absolutely fucking nothing to do with music. If George sells a significant number of records as a result of going on this show, I’ll be quite surprised.
What the hell is the point of selling a hundred million records, being able to sell millions of concert tickets around the world, and still going on light entertainment dross-shows like this that appeal largely to scum? Ugghhhhhhhh… What next, a cameo in the next series of Peppa Pig, to try to reach a younger demographic?
Will I be watching the show? Not live, unfortunately. But I’ll Sky+ it, and watch it as soon as I can. My verdict will be up on the site as soon as I’m able to see the recording. Probably late Sunday night.