This October, George Michael Will Reveals His Warts

George Michael has decided it’s time. Time to reveal his warts…and everything else. In his forthcoming autobiography, entitled – Whispers, Cocks, Warts & All – George will describe them in lurid detail.

A source close to the publisher has revealed they are expecting George and his ghost-writer to produce a tome of Biblical proportions. The few chapter titles they’ve already announced as teasers seem to support that view:

  • Chapter 1: Genesis – In The Beginning, I Was Gay
  • Chapter 2: Exodus – Away from Bushey
  • Chapter 4: Numbers – How I Always Knew I’d Sell 85M Records
  • Chapter 8: Geri – Ginger & Me
  • Chapter 14: Greeks – Is It Cos I Is Black?
  • Chapter 15: 1. Heat – Elton’s First Letter to Heat Magazine
  • Chapter 16: 2. Heat – George’s First Letter to Heat Magazine
  • Chapter 17: Kenny – The Gospel According to Kenneth
  • Chapter 22: Rude – Wanna See My Cock, Officer?
  • Chapter 23: Insemination – The Impregnation of Geri Halliwell
  • Chapter 30: Art – My Formaldehyde On Other’s Animals

Look for the book to hit she shelves around October. I’m wonder if George will have as many stories about Robbie, as Robbie had about George in his book?

More information on the book over at Knobby’s blog.

[Source: The Bible]

7 thoughts on “This October, George Michael Will Reveals His Warts

  1. I also wrote books George! I did! Kenny’s in my books, as Kenny Goose! Is he in your books to? I bet he is! Hope your enjoying the showfeur I bought you to drive you round cos you lost your license he he!

  2. I cannot believe I was not chosen to be the ghostwriter. Isn’t the porn I write about him sufficient proof that I am the best qualified person for the job?

  3. Now, that’s what I call ‘mixed feelings’… Being GM’s fan I’m always curious what’s he up to, although this much more concerns his music output than sex life & alike.
    How many (auto)biographies of his are there? Do we really need another one? I do not necessarily have to read AGAIN ‘the same old same old’ (I’m being reminded of it anyway each time he gives interview & by now know all of it by heart). And if what GM tells about his life is true (that it mostly consists of watching TV), does he really have that much to tell about it to fill the pages of another book? It would be like reading a TV guide!

    Imagine that:

    „I woke up at midday (as I do, because I do not have to get up early), had a wank & a Dutch smoke to start off the day nicely. Switched on TV. News first – by noon a lot must have happened in the world (and I need to stay updated as to whether „Shoot the Dog” would still do the trick). Next – some afternoon soaps: Corrie & Eastenders (need to stay in touch with real life), The Sopranos (some drama to relate to my my life well) and Parky (have to watch as much as possible now before he disappears from the screen for good). I wrapped up watching some late-night programs to get fresh inspiration for another Freeek-like track (not to speak of gaining some new skills which I instantly had to try out in practice – I will not get into much detail, but it involved Kenny too & favoured falling asleep). I’m already looking forward to another great day of „Me&TV”. Oh, my life is soooooo exciting.”

    If GM really feels like releasing another book (personally I’d prefer a CD/on-line project with new tracks) how about, for a change, have a book about music/music industry? As an insider I guess he might have a lot to tell……..
    With successful tour & newly gained confidence that „there is a market for George Michael” I feel like GM is stretching to the limit how much he can squeeze out of his fans. Looks like he tries to prepare a firm financial basis to be able to finance his passion for art before the draws back from the music industry & will not be able to generate the level of income only showbiz can offer.
    Something tells me we’re going to get a rehash of what we already know and a couple of fresh soundbites as „value-added” so that fans do not feel it’s a total rip off. Of course, I do not have to buy it, but, as I said, I’m a huge fan. And I would love (& hope) to be surprised ….

  4. @george michael:”iam gonna keep the secret, iam gonna close my body now”.

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