Exclusive: George Michael Plans Ventriloquist Act

George Michael has, for the first time, revealed his future career plans in his new South Bank Show documentary – That’s My Doll – to be broadcast on UK TV channel ITV1 on Oct 31.

Remarkable’s Buzzin’ Blog has the Internet Exclusive to reveal these plans. For some time, George has been trying to work out how to step down a level of fame – and now he’s worked out just how to do it. George has decided that he wants to become a ventriloquist, and take his “vent act” on a tour of Working Men’s clubs in the North of England.

On the South Bank Show, George tells Melvyn Bragg about his plans to build a new caeer as a ventriloquist with a musical twist,

I hope my future is very different. I will learn to shut my mouth and sing. That would be clever, because if I did, I would probably have all the sex I like, wherever I like.

Sounds entirely rational to me. But, why tour Working Men’s Clubs throughout the North of England? George explains,

I’ve been impressed with Take That’s recent comeback, and I love their new single – Patience. What a great name for a song! It’s fabulous to see a truly talented song writer like Gary Barlow get his balls back. I’ve never forgotten how Gary started out touring the Northern Working Men’s Clubs. I thought – with my new “Vent Act”, in many ways I’m starting again, trying to build a new audience. And what better way to build that new audience than to follow the career path that Gary Barlow took? Plus, I’ve heard that in those places, they don’t mind if you have a wank in your dressing room, before you go on stage. If I toured those places, I could probably masturbate as much as I wanted to, wherever I wanted to. Which I do anyway. But, you know what I mean.

Exciting news, I think you’ll agree! George Michael has refused to deny rumours that his ventriloquist dummy will be none other than popular crooner, Kenny “Bublé” Goss…

3 thoughts on “Exclusive: George Michael Plans Ventriloquist Act

  1. … a quote from my memory on George about Gary Barlow : ‘ If we are both fat, doesn’t mean we are same talented…’ , or some sort of thing.. Seems now to have a much better view… . But this story looks to be a brilliant metaphor anyway.

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