Hi everyone,

This is Remarkable.   For the next period, I will be on safari in Africa.  Cos I’ll be off the grid a lot of that time, it won’t be possible to check what’s being posted here.  So, I’m closing comments for the time being.

It’s just a temporary move. Normal service will be resumed on my return.

Catch you all in a little while,

Rem

*Breaking news*

Interpol are following a trail of clues in the search for George Michael’s stolen S-Class Mercedes.   In their haste to get the car out of the country as fast as possible, thieves left the trunk (boot) open.  It seems that a steady stream of hard core “sex stuff” fell from the car as it took bumps in the road at high speed, forming  a kind of trail.

So, far the trail of clues includes: gimp masks; horse tail butt plugs; double-ended dildos; “cock and ball” rings, clamps and weights; and inflatable air intake gags. Police have now followed the trail to Asia in their search for the singer’s car.

George Michael told waiting reporters last night,

To be honest, I have no idea where all that sex stuff came from.  None of it is anything to do with me doyouknowwhatImean?  It must be Kenny’s.  Or my manager’s. Or my driver’s. Or the housekeeper’s. I mean, I don’t even drive at the moment. Now, you’ll have to excuse me – Kenny is calling. Says he can’t find the  keys to the Range Rover.  Looks like I’ll have to pop to The Netherlands to get a new set.

I do realize that I haven’t been blogging much lately.   It’s been so long that, to be honest, I’m feeling a bit rusty.   Mind you, I’m not the only one.  George can Kenny like to feel rusty every time they’re in Dallas.   Given how intimate George and Kenny are with him, I think it’s about time you all met him. So allow me to introduce to you… Mr. Rusty. Statue.

Of course, being the kind of guy he is, Rusty doesn’t like standing around inside.  That doesn’t help his cause at all. So, he’s usually to be found waiting for his special friends, George and Kenny, outside the house…

I hope you like Rusty as much as George and Kenny do.  Especially if you live next door, and have to endure Rusty waving his rather hard cock in your face every morning.

NB I said Rusty, not George.  George doesn’t do that kind of thing anymore.  He’s sorted himself out.  Maybe.

To celebrate the beginning of March, one of the most important months of 2009, here it is – probably the best George Michael joke of all time…

“During his dispute with Sony, George Michael did absolutely nothing for four years…  He got the idea from Andrew Ridgeley’s contribution to Wham!”

Sorry, Andrew – it’s a joke!!

Wham!

There are a number of questions that people are asking this week…

• In the above pic, is George under the influence, asleep, or did the camera just catch him mid-blink?
• Is it time for George to return to a “Careless Whisper” hairstyle, updated for 2009, naturally?

Yes, I know these may seem trivial questions, but it’s better than discussing whether or not George enjoyed his dinner with Geri and her boyfriend.

Of course, if George turns up on EastEnders, that will be worth discussing.    From what I hear, Heather will be going through “George’s” rubbish, looking for stuff he’s thrown away. It’s a great idea because, now he’s back from the tour, George is discarding huge volumes of garbage every week.

The question is: will they actually manage to find George’s house (and his garbage can)? Or did someone PM Heather the wrong address on GMF / Planet George sending her, and her friend Shirley, to the wrong house?

Breaking news…

It’s looking like George Michael fans will be dreaming of Christmas from now until the big day.   George’s “The Final Two” 25 Live show, recorded at Earls Court earlier this year, is set to be shown on Channel 4 on Christmas Eve (this year!).

Today, the new George Michael song, December Song (I Dreamed of Christmas) was aired for the first time. Many people are having difficulty understanding the meaning of the lyrics.  Perhaps that’s not surprising, because George Michael often deliberately writes his lyrics so that they are open to interpretation.  For what it’s worth… for right or wrong… here’s my interpretation of the meaning (that is, George’s meaning) behind the song…

George is singing a song to his late mother (and to some extent, his father too).   While George has often spoken about his feelings for his mother, it’s rare for him to write a song about her. December Song is a sad, and rather moving, tale. The few rays of light in the song come from George’s use of the Virgin Mary and Jesus as metaphors for optimism. In the song, George is telling his mother that he understands just how difficult her life was when he was a child. He also wants her to know, though, that he felt life was difficult too sometimes; and that just like her, used to dream of Christmas because it was a time when they could put the bad things that had happened during the year behind them; and that they could be optimistic for the future, even if that optimism lasted only for a day or two.  He acknowledges to his mother that, when she died, he went off the rails because of his grief, doing things that he would never have done if she’d been alive.  During that period, he tells her he simply couldn’t feel optimistic, even at Christmas time. Today, though, he wants her to know that he feels more positive about life, and that Christmas is once again a time to put bad things behind him, and where he’s able to feel optimistic about the future.

OK – now, it’s officially Christmas time.  December Song (I Dreamed of Christmas), the new song by George Michael, was premiered on radio this morning.  George took the extra few days between the original date for the first play, and today, to do some more work on the record.   I think it was time well spent – this new track  destined to become a favourite of many George Michael fans.  Beware though – it’s one of those records that repays multiple listens, so you really shouldn’t judge it on the first few hearings.

December Song begins with a short clip from the introduction of a Frank Sinatra recording – The Christmas Waltz (the 1957 version, from Sinatra’s album, A Jolly Christmas).  Sinatra’s introduction segways beautifully into George’s own music where minor chords abound, reflecting the poignant sentiment behind the song – I think he’s singing this song to his late mother. I’ve written the lyrics below – you can take your own meaning from the words.  Finally, the song ends as it begun, with the clip from The Christmas Waltz. This time, though, George sings along with Sinatra’s singers, wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, and for everyone’s New Year dreams to come true…

Here’s my first pass at the lyrics – there’s a few mistakes in there, which I’ll correct in time…

December Song (I Dreamed Of Christmas)

written by George Michael & David Austin

Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
May your every New Year dream come true

Sweet December song
The melody that saved me
On those less than silent nights
When snow would fall upon my bed
White sugar from Jesus
And take me to the day
She could always smile
The Virgin Child would always show, you see
Just to save me
(Just to save me)

There was always Christmas time
To wipe the year away
I guess that Mum and Dad decided
That the war would have to wait

There was always Christmas time
Jesus came to stay
I could believe in peace on Earth
And I could watch TV all day
So I dreamed of Christmas

Maybe since you’ve gone
I went a little crazy
God knows they can see (the child)
But the snow that falls upon my bed
That loving I needed
Falls every single day
For each and every child
The Virgin smiles for all to see
But you kept her from me

There was always Christmas time
To wipe the year away
I guess that Mum and Dad decided
That the war would have to wait

There was always Christmas time
Jesus came to stay
I could believe in peace on Earth
And I could watch TV all day
And so I dreamed of Christmas
Yes, I dreamed like you

Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
May your every New Year dream come true

The new George Michael Christmas song – December Song (I Dreamed of Christmas) - will have its first play on radio on Monday, Dec 1.

No nice way to say this.  The TV show Eli Stone has been canceled.  It’s a shame.  I thought the second season was going pretty well…  Ho hum…