Sex Toy Trail

*Breaking news*

Interpol are following a trail of clues in the search for George Michael’s stolen S-Class Mercedes.   In their haste to get the car out of the country as fast as possible, thieves left the trunk (boot) open.  It seems that a steady stream of hard core “sex stuff” fell from the car as it took bumps in the road at high speed, forming  a kind of trail.

So, far the trail of clues includes: gimp masks; horse tail butt plugs; double-ended dildos; “cock and ball” rings, clamps and weights; and inflatable air intake gags. Police have now followed the trail to Asia in their search for the singer’s car.

George Michael told waiting reporters last night,

To be honest, I have no idea where all that sex stuff came from.  None of it is anything to do with me doyouknowwhatImean?  It must be Kenny’s.  Or my manager’s. Or my driver’s. Or the housekeeper’s. I mean, I don’t even drive at the moment. Now, you’ll have to excuse me – Kenny is calling. Says he can’t find the  keys to the Range Rover.  Looks like I’ll have to pop to The Netherlands to get a new set.