On Safari

Hi everyone,

This is Remarkable.   For the next period, I will be on safari in Africa.  Cos I’ll be off the grid a lot of that time, it won’t be possible to check what’s being posted here.  So, I’m closing comments for the time being.

It’s just a temporary move. Normal service will be resumed on my return.

Catch you all in a little while,

Rem

Sex Toy Trail

*Breaking news*

Interpol are following a trail of clues in the search for George Michael’s stolen S-Class Mercedes.   In their haste to get the car out of the country as fast as possible, thieves left the trunk (boot) open.  It seems that a steady stream of hard core “sex stuff” fell from the car as it took bumps in the road at high speed, forming  a kind of trail.

So, far the trail of clues includes: gimp masks; horse tail butt plugs; double-ended dildos; “cock and ball” rings, clamps and weights; and inflatable air intake gags. Police have now followed the trail to Asia in their search for the singer’s car.

George Michael told waiting reporters last night,

To be honest, I have no idea where all that sex stuff came from.  None of it is anything to do with me doyouknowwhatImean?  It must be Kenny’s.  Or my manager’s. Or my driver’s. Or the housekeeper’s. I mean, I don’t even drive at the moment. Now, you’ll have to excuse me – Kenny is calling. Says he can’t find the  keys to the Range Rover.  Looks like I’ll have to pop to The Netherlands to get a new set.

Feeling Rusty

I do realize that I haven’t been blogging much lately.   It’s been so long that, to be honest, I’m feeling a bit rusty.   Mind you, I’m not the only one.  George can Kenny like to feel rusty every time they’re in Dallas.   Given how intimate George and Kenny are with him, I think it’s about time you all met him. So allow me to introduce to you… Mr. Rusty. Statue.

Of course, being the kind of guy he is, Rusty doesn’t like standing around inside.  That doesn’t help his cause at all. So, he’s usually to be found waiting for his special friends, George and Kenny, outside the house…

I hope you like Rusty as much as George and Kenny do.  Especially if you live next door, and have to endure Rusty waving his rather hard cock in your face every morning.

NB I said Rusty, not George.  George doesn’t do that kind of thing anymore.  He’s sorted himself out.  Maybe.

Best George Michael Joke Of All Time

To celebrate the beginning of March, one of the most important months of 2009, here it is – probably the best George Michael joke of all time…

“During his dispute with Sony, George Michael did absolutely nothing for four years…  He got the idea from Andrew Ridgeley’s contribution to Wham!”

Sorry, Andrew – it’s a joke!!

GM Questions Of The Week…

Wham!

There are a number of questions that people are asking this week…

• In the above pic, is George under the influence, asleep, or did the camera just catch him mid-blink?
• Is it time for George to return to a “Careless Whisper” hairstyle, updated for 2009, naturally?

Yes, I know these may seem trivial questions, but it’s better than discussing whether or not George enjoyed his dinner with Geri and her boyfriend.

Of course, if George turns up on EastEnders, that will be worth discussing.    From what I hear, Heather will be going through “George’s” rubbish, looking for stuff he’s thrown away. It’s a great idea because, now he’s back from the tour, George is discarding huge volumes of garbage every week.

The question is: will they actually manage to find George’s house (and his garbage can)? Or did someone PM Heather the wrong address on GMF / Planet George sending her, and her friend Shirley, to the wrong house?